


A Million Reasons...

by EmpatheticVoice



Series: Sherlock Jukebox [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-19 15:45:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18137714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmpatheticVoice/pseuds/EmpatheticVoice
Summary: Molly Hooper has a million reasons to let go of Sherlock Holmes. Set during and a little after "The Final Problem."





	A Million Reasons...

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Characters and Song do not belong to me. 
> 
> Million Reasons is a song by Lady Gaga off her "Joanne" album.

* * *

 

_You're giving me a million reasons to let you go._

_You're giving me a million reasons to quit the show._

_You're givin' me a million reasons._

_Give me a million reasons._

_Givin' me a million reasons._

_About a million reasons._

 

* * *

 

Molly believes that people would think her crazy for sticking with Sherlock for so long. Sometimes she thinks they are right. Anyone else would have walked away from the detective a long time ago. She still thinks about it….walking away that is.

* * *

  

_If I had a highway, I would run for the hills._

_If you could find a dry way, I'd forever be still._

_But you're giving me a million reasons._

_Give me a million reasons._

_Givin' me a million reasons._

_About a million reasons.  
_

 

* * *

Just as she thinks she is able to break free from him, he does something sweet. It keeps her tethered. Always more than an arm’s length away, but won’t let her get any closer or further in either direction. It is frustrating to say the least. Sometimes she wishes he would make up his mind. It isn’t fair. She wishes she knew what she could do.

* * *

 

_I bow down to pray. I try to make the worst seem better._

_Lord, show me the way,_

_To cut through all his worn out leather._

_I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away._

_But baby, I just need one good one to stay._

 

* * *

She knows she has to separate herself from him. If she doesn’t, she knows Sherlock will consume her until there is nothing left. The mere thought of leaving him behind makes her physically ill. Molly holds her head in the kitchen, as her phone rings. Of course, it is Sherlock.

* * *

 

_Head stuck in a cycle, I look off and I stare._

_It's like that I've stopped breathing, but completely aware._

_'Cause you're giving me a million reasons._

_Give me a million reasons._

_Givin' me a million reasons._

_About a million reasons._

* * *

 

He wants the secret words that she keeps just for herself. The ones that she so desperately wants, and is afraid to share with him. In the end, he does get his way. After she heartbreakingly confesses her love for him, he hangs up having gotten what he wanted. Molly chides herself, as if Sherlock Holmes would ever act in such a way to take account of her feelings.

* * *

 

_And if you say something that you might even mean._

_It's hard to even fathom which parts I should believe._

_'Cause you're giving me a million reasons._

_Give me a million reasons._

_Givin' me a million reasons._

_About a million reasons._

 

* * *

Mycroft’s visit comes as a surprise to her. Usually he radiates superiority and power, but that day he looks oddly vulnerable. What could have happened to turn such a man into that way? He explains the circumstances leading up to the phone call, then apologizes for the hurt that the Holmeses have caused her. Ah. So it is big brother doing collateral damage control. He looks legitimately sincere and contrite though so she accepts the apology. They both know how painful loving Sherlock can be.

* * *

 

_I bow down to pray._

_I try to make the worst seem better._

_Lord, show me the way,_

_To cut through all his worn out leather._

_I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away._

_But baby, I just need one good one to stay._

 

* * *

Sherlock does not visit her. But she knows she will have to see him soon enough. She promised to take Rosie for awhile, while he and John are on a stakeout for a case. 221B is in the process of being rebuilt so they stay at John and Mary’s in the meantime. Molly rings the bell, and it is the consulting detective who answers. For some reason, the suddenness in seeing him seems like it is too soon.  He quickly takes her in as well, then not saying a word, then lowering his gaze to let her in. Molly enters, and plasters a smile on her face for John, who is carrying Rosie towards her. She does not want to betray what she is actually feeling. She takes Rosie into her arms, and snuggles her close, while John rambles on about what has or has not been done. Molly makes sure she nods and agrees at proper intervals, though it isn’t as if she is taking in anything John is saying. Sherlock is not looking at her nor has he said a word. Not that she expected him to, and that is fine. She never knows what to expect from him if anything.

* * *

 

_Baby I'm bleedin', bleedin'._

_Stay._

_Can't you give me what I'm needin', needin'?_

_Every heartbreak makes it hard to keep the faith._

_But baby, I just need one good one. _Good one, good one, good one, good one, good one.__

 

* * *

 

The stakeout, as it turned out did not last very long as the culprit was caught in the act pretty quickly. The boys returned with bags of Chinese takeout. Molly went to retrieve her coat. John invited her to stay and eat, saying there were plenty dumplings and wontons to go around. Her eyes quickly flick over to Sherlock before she thanks him and declines. The ghost of their previous conversation still hangs in the air. A look passes between the detective and blogger. Molly makes her escape, briskly walking way to the closest tube station before anyone can protest and call her a cab. This is how it has to be, if she wants to excise Sherlock from her life. Once she boards the mostly empty train, she sits in a seat, and covers her face with her shaking hands.

* * *

 

_When I bow down to pray I try to make the worst seem better._

_Lord, show me the way,_

_To cut through all his worn out leather._

_I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away,_

_But baby, I just need one good one, good one._

_Tell me that you'll be the good one, good one._

_Baby, I just need one good one to stay._

 

* * *

Time passes. Baker Street is rebuilt. Molly still wrestles with herself over Sherlock. It is hard to maintain her distance when he comes to morgue or lab. She notices he is different. He gives her sad and slightly ashamed looks, when he thinks she can’t see. It is almost as if he is patiently allowing her to set the pace of their relationship, she imagines. She has over a million reasons on why she should walk away from him, and yet can’t bring herself to fully do it. Despite everything, she still loves him.

 Like magic, Molly’s phone buzzes.

**_You know where to find me - SH_ **


End file.
